At one time or another, we have probably all experienced a manager who can explode in anger and yell inappropriately within the workplace. Unable to contain his or her frustrations, the manager reacts with an outburst that not only disrupts the work environment but can also negatively impact the health of the organization and its employees. If you are the recipient of the attack, you likely react in a ‘fight or flight’ mode—either defending yourself steadfastly against the verbal assault or withdrawing in fear of further escalation. Others, witnessing the display, might shut down immediately, avoid eye contact, and minimize any future interaction with the manager to prevent a similar outburst directed at them.
Sometimes, upon later reflection, the manager may feel guilty about the inappropriate behavior and may attempt to apologize to the wounded individual. Often, however, the manager demonstrates little self-awareness and rationalizes that the verbal ‘kick in the pants’ was warranted. Or, he/she may remark unapologetically, “It’s just the way I am.” Depending on the severity and frequency of the emotional outbursts, the company may attempt to provide feedback to the manager resulting in little, if any, change.
As an executive coach, I’m sometimes requested to work with such ‘short-fuse’ managers. I’m often asked, “Is the manager ‘hard-wired’ to behave this way? Can he/she really change?”
The answer to both questions is yes. As more research has been conducted about the brain over the past few decades, we have learned that these emotional reactions are often ‘hard-wired’ into our brain circuitry. Daniel Goleman, in his work on Emotional Intelligence, describes the ‘amygdala hijack’ referring to the primitive part of the brain that was originally designed to scan for threats in the environment. When an individual perceives a real or imagined threat, the amygdala is aroused and can trigger such an emotional response or outburst. However, it is the pre-frontal cortex section of the brain—developed later in human evolution—that is used to balance the emotions and regulate the primitive impulses of the body.
David Rock, in his work on NeuroLeadership, explains that in the workplace, these ‘threats’ can arise from a variety of sources: a perceived reduction in status, uncertainty about the future, a lack of choice or autonomy, not feeling connected or part of the group, or from a feeling of unfairness. When these fears are triggered, the amygdala can cause an unconscious emotional response. And because the reaction gets repeated many times, the emotional outburst then becomes automatic or ‘hard-wired.’
The good news is that by practicing ‘mindfulness’—and re-focusing our attention—we can activate new neural pathways in the pre-frontal cortex of the brain to counter those fears. We can detect a threat and tell ourselves, “Wait a minute. Calm down. No one is trying to usurp my authority.” We can learn to control and change inappropriate behaviors, and actually re-wire our brains!
Dr. Daniel Siegel, in the book Mindsight, uses the term, ‘neuroplasticity’ to explain how we can use our minds to literally create new neurons and electrical connections within the brain. And he has discovered that our brains actually continue to grow and develop throughout our lives—even with people in their 90’s! Through the use of new brain imaging technology, we can now see that the mind/body connection is real. With greater understanding of how the brain functions and using mindfulness techniques, we can learn new behaviors and improve relationships at any age.
So can our out-of-control manager learn to calm these emotional reactions? Yes, but it’s not easy. With supportive coaching and continued mindfulness practice over time, we can learn to re-wire our brains for greater well-being.
Leave a Reply
Your email is safe with us.