Our Smartphone Addiction

Last week, my daughter lost her cell phone at an NFL football stadium. Although the phone was password protected, she was distraught. It was worse than losing a wallet or keys! Even more disconcerting however, was that she didn’t know what to do with her time. Like many of us, we check our smartphones every 5-6 minutes on average to text, email, tweet, check sport scores, play word games, and so on. “OMG,” she said (not totally facetiously), “I might actually have to read a book!”

Without a doubt, smartphones have revolutionized our lives. My phone is my traveling office. I can be accessible to my clients, family, and friends—anytime, anywhere—and navigate to my destination at the same time. I can use any wait or travel time efficiently to send and receive messages, record appointments, find information, and catch up on the latest news instantly.

We all realize, however, that there’s a huge downside to this marvelous device. As our interactions have become almost completely electronic, the ability to have real, live conversations has diminished. How often have you seen people sitting around a table in a restaurant, not talking but texting on their phones? In business meetings, I can tell when people have checked out, as they’re eyes turn downward to their laps, reading their emails. When I stop for a red light at a major intersection, I frequently see drivers on their phones unaware that the light has turned green. And haven’t you witnessed pedestrians absorbed with their phones, step off the curb to cross the street, oblivious to oncoming traffic? Our obsession with multi-tasking on our smartphones, and the resulting lack of mindfulness of the present moment, has definitely taken control of our lives.

So what do we do?

• Like any addiction, we first need to raise our awareness and recognize that this is a problem. There have been new laws prohibiting texting and driving but this is only part of the issue. We may refrain from texting and driving, but our phones are never far away.
• Establish no phone zones. For me, the bedroom is off-limits and shutting down my phone is a pre-bedtime ritual. I do not want the beeping or light to wake me up at night. However, I know I’m not the only one to text while I’m in the bathroom!
• Encourage real conversation. There was a recent NY Times article about ‘phone stacking.’ When friends go out to a restaurant, they put their phones in a pile in the center of the table at the beginning of the meal. If anyone reaches for his/her phone during dinner, he/she must pick up the tab for everyone.
• Find times to unplug. Taking a break from technology—even for a brief period—is a great way to re-charge your own batteries. Go for a walk. Stretch your muscles. Tony Schwartz, author of The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, says the best way to gain productivity and avoid burnout is to recover your energy by taking a break from constant mental activity about every 90 to 120 minutes.
• Avoid multi-tasking. The research has shown that productivity is actually diminished by focusing on multiple things at once. When you’re at work, it’s easy to get distracted by checking emails every few minutes. Put the phone away so you can focus on the task at hand.
• Get support. I tell friends, family members, and colleagues, please don’t send me emails/texts—or play Words with Friends—after 10 a.m. at night. Unless it’s an emergency, I won’t be responding. For family members, agree to turn off the phones during a specific time period in the evening so that you can talk without distraction.
• Like recovering addicts, when you fall off the wagon, just get back on again. If you see someone pull out the phone at dinner or in a meeting, don’t get angry. Just remind him/her of the agreement and help get them back on track.

Try one or two of these tips for a couple of weeks and see how they work. Addictions are difficult to break. And this one is particularly hard when there is pressure to constantly be available to others 24/7.

Amazingly, someone found my daughter’s cell phone and returned it to her. Utter relief and gratitude! And the obsession has resumed….